Bob: “You are my lawyer, Jack, and you have to know. Ron is going to fight to get what he wants.”

Jack: “That’s why the secret to success is to find out what Ron wants and to see if you can give it to him.”

Bob: “Isn’t that selling out?”

Jack: “No, I think it’s more like negotiating to get what you both want.”

Bob: “But Ron is a crook; we caught him stealing cash from the business.

I couldn’t prove it so I did not call the police.”

Jack: “Well, how does it help you in a court case then?”

Bob: “Okay, but it tells you what we are up against – someone with no moral code.”

Jack: “It doesn’t matter. When you fight with pigs, you still get dirty, even if you win.”

There will come a time when you must separate your emotions from the legal issues.

You can learn how to save time, money and a ton of stress with mediation.

In my next series of posts, I will explain the steps in a typical lawsuit.

You cannot skip any steps. Each step can cost you an average of $3,000 to $5,000 or more.  Each day at trial can cost thousands of dollars per lawyer.

To learn more about mediation, read my MrWills.com Guide to Estate Mediation here.

Imagine this scene in a Hollywood movie: images of screaming, sword-clashing hordes running towards their enemies.

Today we are more civilized and handle our disputes in a courtroom, using weapons like a lawsuit.

Our motive, however, is the same; we want to crush our enemies.

Lawyers and lawsuits are our weapons.

During the legal battle, you paint your cause as just and the other side’s as unjust. You fight as if you were battling demons in a personal war.

At some point, you start believing your own propaganda. You may not realize that, even if you win your lawsuit, the process can still devastate you.

Once attacked, your self-preservation instincts are triggered and you want to fight or flee.

Would you listen to your legal advisor and heed the warnings? Perhaps you are too angry to stop fighting.

In my next post, we’ll look at what part our emotions play in every dispute. You can also read my previous blog posts on mediation.

You feel like your entire house is spinning and you are helpless.

Your lawyer, Tom the Terminator, checks the facts and gathers evidence to support your version of the truth.

He can then properly advise you on your case and if a judge can give you what you ask. This assumes you do not want Joe the Roofer to apologize and repair the leak by Friday.

Tom the Terminator says you need an expert to prove who was responsible for the leaky roof. The expert’s report takes six weeks to obtain but includes video and glossy photographs of the damage. You think your case is a sure winner.

But Joe is not prepared to give up. He responds by hiring his own expert, who finds that the architect approved the use of defective roofing shingles. Joe fights back by suing you for the final instalment, overdue interest and payment of his legal fees.

Adversarial system – a legal system that requires judges to resolve disputes

These steps are a logical progression to have your day in court.

While this goes on, your family lives in a leaky home waiting for a judge to decide who pays for the damage.

What do you do next? You ask your lawyer how much longer this will take and cost.

You expect to get a trial date a year down the road. By now, what you have spent on a lawyer could have paid for a brand new roof.

Isn’t that what you really wanted?

Sure, you have rights. Yes, someone did mess up. But do you want to wait for a trial or get on with your life?

Tom, as your lawyer, should have warned you about the costs and your case earlier.

You should be informed of the full range of solutions to your problem, including alternative dispute resolution (ADR) methods.

In many legal disputes you are compelled to defend yourself. Where does this urge come from?

Stay tuned for the next post to find out. You can also read my previous mediation blog posts here.

Let’s say you need a roof on the new home you are building. You hire Joe the Roofer to do the job. You wake up one day to find water leaking from your new roof. At least you have not paid the last instalment on his contract.

Now you need a new paint job on your inside walls and someone to repair the leak. You blame Joe, who points the finger at other causes beyond his control. But you can prove that you are right. At least you think so.

You visit a lawyer, Tom, whose nickname is the “Terminator”, and he recommends you sue and go to court. He threatens legal action against Joe the Roofer. Joe claims your leaky roof is the architect’s fault or is caused by defective roof materials.

Everyone blames someone else. They all hire a lawyer to protect themselves.

Now you have three different explanations for your leaky roof and three different lawyers fighting you. Each lawyer says his/her client is not responsible for the water damage.

Your lawyer tells you to sue all three of them. The battle to repair your roof moves into the legal arena. Now you see the shenanigans that occur in our adversarial trial system.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post to find out what happens next. You can get new posts at your email by signing up here. You can also unsubscribe at any time.

I can help you find faster, more affordable ways to win.

Mediation is an alternative way to resolve legal disputes.

Mediation is an internationally-recognized method to resolve disputes outside of the courtroom.

How Mediation Works

You and your lawyer, along with the other side, agree to resolve your dispute through mediation. Then you hire your mediator. This is a neutral person to help you reach a settlement.

Say, for example, you no longer talk to your neighbour. His tree fell on your property, damaging your fence. A judge could take months or years deciding who must repair the fence.

Instead, you could ask your lawyer to propose a meeting to mediate. The meeting occurs in a private office arranged with your independent mediator.

How Your Mediator Can Help

Mediators can:

1. bridge any communication gap

2. reach an agreement on sharing costs

3. improve or repair your relationship

4. work towards a mutual understanding

5. avoid the costs and uncertainty of a court case

6. resolve the personal issues to blocking a settlement

Mediators are not judges. They cannot impose or make decisions. Instead, their job is to help you identify your best interests to find acceptable solutions.

You negotiate a winning end to your legal dispute that everyone can accept.

Mediation is Quick, Cost-effective and Voluntary

Think of the relief you will get when all the legal battles stop.

You can solve your legal disputes quickly, sometimes within a day, without going to court.

If you want to settle your legal battles, here’s the first thing to know:

Mediation Secrets: Win your legal battles without going to trial

Are there reasons why you need a judge to decide your case?

You need to learn about the risks and dangers of going to court. You will want to consider your alternatives before entering the courtroom.

Read all my previous blog posts on mediation.

Take this reality check if you are involved in a lawsuit (check all that apply):

□ Are you fighting to protect someone’s honour?

□ You lost your temper with your opponent.

□ You are carrying a grudge to court.

□ You are fighting for a noble cause.

It may be time to change your approach. Find another way to win your legal battle.

Ask yourself where you want to end up. You can easily get lost in a lawsuit or a legal dispute, lose sleep and spend a fortune on lawyers.

Most lawsuits settle before going to trial.

Why?

Lawsuits, like gambling, are costly and uncertain. Most people don’t want to risk it all on a roll of the dice.

You need an alternative to the courtroom. If you are in a legal dispute, you don’t want to lose your shirt or your sanity.

Sign up to receive blog posts by email here.

   The best lawyers understand their opponent’s case as well as their own.

If necessary, they are ready to change to a fresh horse in the middle of a long race.

Fighting a lawsuit means you stake out your territory or legal arguments and attack the other side’s argument with all the strength you can legally muster. Legal rules of professional conduct require lawyers to act in a civilized, not a personal, manner.

Your best interest may be served by an early resolution of your legal dispute.

However, this may only become clear to some lawyers the closer they get to the courtroom door. Your lawyer must be ready to win so you are not forced to settle if your case is not ready.

Most lawyers are objective in their advice and approach to their client’s problems. As dedicated professionals, they do worry about how clients will pay the price, not just their fees, if they lose in court.

Stay tuned for my next post to learn how you can stop fighting in court.  Sign-up to be notified about future mediation blog posts.

In a court case, you hire lawyers to go the distance until the race is over.

Your lawyer, by training, focuses on your case’s strengths and downplays its weaknesses.

Lawyers rebut, argue and counter every position with their adversary almost by instinct. Trial lawyers try never to concede obvious or collateral points so as not to taint their credibility.

Some lawyers I have met appear to believe that being obnoxious is not professional misconduct. They see unbridled aggressiveness as a badge of loyalty to their clients.

These few believe that you will pay more to get rid of them.

Why?

Because they try to constantly antagonize you and your client.

Clients do judge their lawyers on their aggressiveness, ability to argue and to advocate. But clients must understand that bickering, rudeness and attempts to embarrass the other side are not to be tolerated.

Tactics like chest-thumping or grandstanding do not scare other lawyers, so they do not accomplish anything except to worry you as a client.

Read my next post and find out when changing horses works. You can also read more of my estate mediation blog posts.

The lawyer handling Emily’s case did not know what to say.

He made his next mistake. “You still have to prove the other side is responsible and anything can go wrong in a trial. That’s how the legal system works. Some cases you win, some you lose, some you must settle.”

Emily’s vengeance was swift. “I went to court because I did not know I had an alternative when the company refused to pay me. If my case was going to settle, why didn’t you tell me? I put my life on hold and wasted energy and money for nothing. I would have been better off to settle a year ago.” Emily walked away.

Emily’s lawyer made his last mistake.

“You can always get a second opinion about the settlement from another lawyer,” he said. “But you will probably get the same advice to settle.”

This did not give Emily any comfort. Instead, disappointed and drained, she blasted him. “I don’t want to pay for another lawyer. You’re fired.”

The secret to a good ending is to have a good beginning.

Lessons to Learn Outside the Courtroom

Emily had struggled to right a wrong.

Her search for justice, took her, like many others, on a journey through the court system. But she had no guide to show her alternative paths to reach her destination.

In Emily’s case, she complained that her lawyer had not given her any alternative but to go to trial. When she got there, instead of fighting, her lawyer told her to make a deal. She did not understand why she had to settle.

In reality, you and your lawyer prepare for trial like it was a war. Your opponent must take your case seriously. When you are attacked, fight fire with more fire.

But why should you resolve your dispute without going inside of a courtroom?

The simple reason: war is hell.

You can win without going into the courtroom with new strategies to:

• end conflict and confrontation

• solve your problems and struggles

• save time and stress

• reduce legal costs and worry

• avoid public court displays

• choose your outcome in private

To learn more about these strategies, read my MrWills.com guide on Estate Mediation.

Find out if all lawyers are obnoxious in my next post.

“I’ll see you in court.”

How terrifying are those words?

At the start of a lawsuit, everything you see is coloured by your fear, anger or desire to crush your opponents.

A lawsuit is a dangerous weapon which you must know how to use, as well as alternative ways to resolve disputes.

Unless you have experience with lawyers or judges, you cannot understand what goes on in a lawsuit.

You probably have misconceptions that need to be dispelled.

Believe me, it’s not like what you see on television when someone sues you.

Stay tuned to my blog to find out what really happens when you go to court.

If You Want to Win

I had arrived to watch a bad ending to an unhappy story. It was Friday morning and I was rushing to court. Emily, a woman in her late fifties, was standing outside the doors to courtroom 204 with her husband. She was speaking to a younger man who appeared to be her lawyer.

Emily was steaming, her jaw was clenched, and her husband was holding her back. “I will take the settlement offer. I have no other choice. I hope to God I never need a lawyer again,” Emily declared.

What had gone wrong? Had she thought she would win her case in court? Her search for justice did not appear to be going as she had expected. Before her lawyer could explain, Emily turned around and walked away in disgust.

As a lawyer, I am used to dealing with people who need to express their anger or fear in stressful situations.

I have always managed this in private for my sake and my clients. These poor souls, however, were on public display and everyone, including the justice system, looked bad.

Why Things Go Wrong

Now I was curious. I speculated about what had gone wrong. Perhaps Emily was unprepared to hear what her lawyer was saying? Her lawyer’s explanations meant nothing to her because she was too upset to hear more bad news.

Emily had probably spent a small fortune in legal fees and had waited more than two years for her day in court. She expected her lawyer to fight and win.

But on the day of her big battle, instead of going for the other side’s jugular, her lawyer was suddenly telling her to take the other side’s offer to settle.

Did her lawyer stop believing in her case? Was he afraid of the judge who bluntly told him to settle her case without trial?

Emily paid her lawyer fully expecting he’d make heads roll. Instead, he had turned chicken. Now she was running across the marble floor, down the corridor, and away from her disappointment. She stopped and turned to confront her lawyer who was pursuing her.

“I ended up with a broken ankle, three surgeries, one steel plate and months of therapy without pay. I did nothing wrong. I am the innocent victim here.” Emily cried. “Why do I have to prove something so obvious in a courtroom? I did nothing wrong. Why am I supposed to settle?”

In my next post, I’ll explain why this happened.

You can learn more about mediation in my free MrWills.com guide, Estate Mediation: Answers to 10 Frequently Asked Questions.