Bob: “You are my lawyer, Jack, and you have to know. Ron is going to fight to get what he wants.”

Jack: “That’s why the secret to success is to find out what Ron wants and to see if you can give it to him.”

Bob: “Isn’t that selling out?”

Jack: “No, I think it’s more like negotiating to get what you both want.”

Bob: “But Ron is a crook; we caught him stealing cash from the business.

I couldn’t prove it so I did not call the police.”

Jack: “Well, how does it help you in a court case then?”

Bob: “Okay, but it tells you what we are up against – someone with no moral code.”

Jack: “It doesn’t matter. When you fight with pigs, you still get dirty, even if you win.”

There will come a time when you must separate your emotions from the legal issues.

You can learn how to save time, money and a ton of stress with mediation.

In my next series of posts, I will explain the steps in a typical lawsuit.

You cannot skip any steps. Each step can cost you an average of $3,000 to $5,000 or more.  Each day at trial can cost thousands of dollars per lawyer.

To learn more about mediation, read my MrWills.com Guide to Estate Mediation here.

Imagine this scene in a Hollywood movie: images of screaming, sword-clashing hordes running towards their enemies.

Today we are more civilized and handle our disputes in a courtroom, using weapons like a lawsuit.

Our motive, however, is the same; we want to crush our enemies.

Lawyers and lawsuits are our weapons.

During the legal battle, you paint your cause as just and the other side’s as unjust. You fight as if you were battling demons in a personal war.

At some point, you start believing your own propaganda. You may not realize that, even if you win your lawsuit, the process can still devastate you.

Once attacked, your self-preservation instincts are triggered and you want to fight or flee.

Would you listen to your legal advisor and heed the warnings? Perhaps you are too angry to stop fighting.

In my next post, we’ll look at what part our emotions play in every dispute. You can also read my previous blog posts on mediation.

You feel like your entire house is spinning and you are helpless.

Your lawyer, Tom the Terminator, checks the facts and gathers evidence to support your version of the truth.

He can then properly advise you on your case and if a judge can give you what you ask. This assumes you do not want Joe the Roofer to apologize and repair the leak by Friday.

Tom the Terminator says you need an expert to prove who was responsible for the leaky roof. The expert’s report takes six weeks to obtain but includes video and glossy photographs of the damage. You think your case is a sure winner.

But Joe is not prepared to give up. He responds by hiring his own expert, who finds that the architect approved the use of defective roofing shingles. Joe fights back by suing you for the final instalment, overdue interest and payment of his legal fees.

Adversarial system – a legal system that requires judges to resolve disputes

These steps are a logical progression to have your day in court.

While this goes on, your family lives in a leaky home waiting for a judge to decide who pays for the damage.

What do you do next? You ask your lawyer how much longer this will take and cost.

You expect to get a trial date a year down the road. By now, what you have spent on a lawyer could have paid for a brand new roof.

Isn’t that what you really wanted?

Sure, you have rights. Yes, someone did mess up. But do you want to wait for a trial or get on with your life?

Tom, as your lawyer, should have warned you about the costs and your case earlier.

You should be informed of the full range of solutions to your problem, including alternative dispute resolution (ADR) methods.

In many legal disputes you are compelled to defend yourself. Where does this urge come from?

Stay tuned for the next post to find out. You can also read my previous mediation blog posts here.

Let’s say you need a roof on the new home you are building. You hire Joe the Roofer to do the job. You wake up one day to find water leaking from your new roof. At least you have not paid the last instalment on his contract.

Now you need a new paint job on your inside walls and someone to repair the leak. You blame Joe, who points the finger at other causes beyond his control. But you can prove that you are right. At least you think so.

You visit a lawyer, Tom, whose nickname is the “Terminator”, and he recommends you sue and go to court. He threatens legal action against Joe the Roofer. Joe claims your leaky roof is the architect’s fault or is caused by defective roof materials.

Everyone blames someone else. They all hire a lawyer to protect themselves.

Now you have three different explanations for your leaky roof and three different lawyers fighting you. Each lawyer says his/her client is not responsible for the water damage.

Your lawyer tells you to sue all three of them. The battle to repair your roof moves into the legal arena. Now you see the shenanigans that occur in our adversarial trial system.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post to find out what happens next. You can get new posts at your email by signing up here. You can also unsubscribe at any time.

  You may not think of lawyers, except perhaps in a negative way, until you need one.

 Then you have no clue what lawyers do or what to expect. You are not sure of your role as client, or what part you should play in the legal drama.

Everyone Defines Winning Differently

Your responsibility is to make sure your lawyer knows what winning means to you. Life is too precious to leave important things like this up in the air. Don’t leave it to chance or to a judge, either.

Arm yourself with these mediation secrets and discover new ways to win all your legal battles.

I am not suggesting that you fire your lawyer – simply that you do not have to spend a fortune on a trial. You do not have to waste years suffering in a dispute that destroys you.

Stop Your Pain and Gain

I am going to show you the quick and effective way to win life’s legal battles. You can do it through an alternative to the enormous costs of the court process.

I can show you how you can turn the battle’s tide in your favour. You are reading the secrets to a new winning strategy. It’s called mediation and here’s how it works if you have a legal dispute.

First, you ask the people you are fighting with if they want to mediate to solve your problems. If you have lawyers at this stage, they help you hire a neutral person to act as your mediator.

Next, you set an appointment to mediate. In some cases you can even do this online. It is quick. In a matter of hours, you can resolve disputes instead of starting a court process and waiting years for a trial.

Everyone in the mediation process then meets together in an informal setting. You can bring your spouse or friend along to help you cope and help you make the best decisions.

You, the other side to the dispute, and your respective lawyers will all meet. With the mediator’s help, you will reach a voluntary agreement that ends your conflict.

Voila, you have fixed your problem without spending a fortune. Now you can turn your attention to life’s more important concerns.

Best of all, for many people it’s all done confidentially and in private. A judge does not tell you what to do. Instead, you call the shots and can negotiate the best possible bargain.

In most cases, you reach an agreement that ends your legal worries in a few weeks.

Compare that with a conflict that could tie up your life and money for years in a lawsuit.

How marvellous is that?

Albert was the executor of his uncle’s small estate. He paid the beneficiaries what he roughly calculated they should receive. But he did not hold back enough to pay all the estate debts. Now he was in trouble and looking for legal help. What should you or any executor have done to prevent this pain?

Executors Must Invest in Legal Advice

Albert wanted to avoid spending his uncle’s money. He thought the beneficiaries would thank him as they would each get more money. Instead, they were now steaming because they were asked to give money back. They were worried Albert had made other mistakes.

If you are an executor, don’t forget that your reasonable legal fees are paid by the estate.

Legal advice will help you understand your executor duties including:

• whether you should accept or renounce your role as executor
• confirming a will is legally valid
• setting out your rights and responsibilities as executor
• completing court papers for probate of the will
• helping you sell or transfer estate assets or property
• protecting yourself from creditors and beneficiaries
• avoiding any potential personal liability for income taxes
• showing you the correct way to distribute the estate
• ensuring beneficiaries approve your compensation

Finding the Right Estate Lawyer

Search the internet to get background information about an estate lawyer’s experience and expertise.  Call and interview the firm by phone before you make commitments.

Ask your financial planner, banker or accountant to recommend the name of an estate lawyer in your neighbourhood.

Professional advice will protect you as executor. Consider it an investment to make before it’s too late.

Executor Tip: Getting proper legal advice will keep you out of trouble.

I call it Executor’s Disease™. It infects your money.

I see the infection every day in my law office. It affects people in all income brackets.

Your money may already be contaminated. I will tell you what this disease does. I will share with you my insider secrets about the disease and how you can find a cure.

Executor’s Disease™ is the new danger that nobody has dared to talk about … until now.

Don’t worry, it’s not contagious.

You cannot pass this disease on like it was a medical condition. It can, however, spoil everything. It does not care about your grand plans for your family or your money.

No Family is Immune from Estate Disputes

You may or may not have a plan for your money. However, estate disputes over money are obstacles that you must anticipate.

Disputes over money can be like a disease. They can cause full-blown, financially devastating lawsuits.

Innocent beneficiaries of your estate become victims.

Why Traditional Estate Planning Won’t Help

Most traditional estate planning advisors focus on tax issues. They are into preserving and transferring wealth. They speak of wealth, meaning your assets, real estate, businesses, stocks, and investments.

Professional financial planners show you how to get maximum benefit from all these assets. They are usually very good at their job. You get to sleep better with peace of mind.

Estate planners help you set up an orderly wealth transfer. Seldom do they get involved in messy estate work or disputes.

However, this is where you come back into the picture. It is critical for you to understand how things have changed. Estate disputes have become commonplace and affect everyone, not just the wealthy.

Over the next while, I will be writing about executors. If you happen to want to learn more about Executor’s Disease™, download my free ebook here.

This is one of the first decisions you get to make as an executor.

Choose wisely – changing lawyers is time-consuming and expensive.

After you do your preliminary research, interview prospective candidates. Look for referrals and search law firm websites.

Note: Some estate problems will call for different legal specialists.

Here are some factors that could affect your choice of lawyers.

You may need different expertise if:

• the will is being contested or does not make sense
• the former spouse wants to sue for support
• the estate includes a business
• the estate may be bankrupt
• the estate includes special assets like real estate or a business

The right lawyer can refer you to specialists in each of these areas.

You want to be confident about the advice you receive. Without the appropriate level of trust, nothing gets done.

If you want to learn more about my experience, watch this short video about my book for estate executors, Executor Kung Fu: Master Any Estate in Three Easy Steps.

It’s not uncommon to lose sleep if you are involved in a probate dispute.

What should you do if you are uncertain how to solve an estate problem?

Get legal advice from an experienced estate lawyer.

Certainty is not possible when you have an estate problem or a lawsuit.
However, you can insist on clarity from your lawyer.

You should expect your lawyer to:

• communicate so you understand 
• outline the steps you must take
• be honest in their assessment
• not make empty promises
• advise you when their opinions change based on new information    

What if you still have doubts? 

Getting a second opinion from an experienced probate lawyer may be just what you need.

You may ask for a second legal opinion without telling your current lawyer.

Subrule 6.03(8) of the lawyers’ Rules of Professional Conduct allows you to seek a second opinion on a matter for which you already have a lawyer.

A lawyer can provide a second opinion based on sufficient information.  Your current lawyer cannot be contacted without your permission.

Have you considered getting a second opinion from a specialist certified in Estates and Trusts Law? You can contact me to arrange an appointment to obtain a second opinion. Call and ask to speak with me over the phone, and I will explain how I can help. Contact my office now.

In part 1, I gave you ways to find the right estate/probate lawyer. Now what do you do with your list?

 Make sure you do your homework. Compare the list of possible candidates. The names of two or three lawyers may surface who work in your neighborhood.  Now you’re ready to start with the next step.   

Invest some time in interviewing a number of candidates to ensure you can work with them.  

You can use the telephone or email to narrow down your choices by asking questions. Here’s a list of possible questions you can ask an estate lawyer:

-                      Will you personally meet with me to discuss my needs? 

-                      Do you spend 30% or more of your time handling estates? 

-                      How long have you handled estates? 

-                      How long does the process take?  

-                      Do you have an information package or website?

 Make sure you feel comfortable talking with your lawyer. Communication skills are important. If this is lacking, you cannot get the advice you need.

 Remember this: the lawyer who prepared the will may have no probate experience.   

 Watch my 1 minute Executor Self Defence video.

Executor Kung Fu Book